Tuesday, December 20, 2005

The Dentist

I had to call and cancel my dentist appointment this morning. That may have been a mistake. It was just a cleaning and check up, but you know how it goes...

They are going to try to squeeze me in sometime in the morning on February 10, 2011. I'm supposed to brush and floss regularly in the mean time.

I'll see what I can do.

Does this mean I have to go out and purchase a new toothbrush? Do they even sell them at the store? I thought the only place you could get one is in the drawer in Dr. Ted's office, right next to the mini dispenser of floss and the stickers.

I guess I could just pretend that I have an emergency - then they would have to take me, right? Aaahh! I need to come in right now! Fire up the spinning toothbrush and that saliva sucking tube thing! It's been six months since my last visit!

No wonder 4 out of 5 dentists recommend keeping an appointment once you've scheduled it.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Posts Update III

The Replacements
When I turned the furnace on for the first time this year nothing much happened. The pilot lit and that's about it. After some troubleshooting (not by me), it turned out that we needed a new gas valve. It is now back to normal.

Then the battery for our new digital camera was recalled. Apparently there was a chance that it could short out, overheat and melt, "posing a potential hazard to consumers." But this was the easiest of the replacements so far. I was sent a new one for free, complete with packaging to return the old one. For free.

Not Working Out
An oversight in my decision to dispose of the weight bench was realized last week after our first substantial snowfall of the season. When I came inside from shoveling, there was no weight bench on which to hang my wet coat, scarf, hat and gloves. Luckily, we still have the treadmill. It works just as well.

Lawn Care
Since the last update I have found a Nokia cell phone battery and a bag of Doritos on my lawn. The battery was cracked and the bag was empty. I'm still waiting for something useful to show up.

4-9-18-51-54 Powerball 10
The winning numbers for October 19th's record setting $340 million Powerball jackpot were 7, 21, 43, 44 and 49, and the Powerball was 29. You didn't win. These people did. You are one dollar (or more) lighter. Kind of like I said...

Friday, December 2, 2005


It's official. I'm 30 years old. But what does that really mean?

I don't know.

It isn't like I woke up this morning and felt any different than any other day. I guess 30 has been creeping up on me for a while.

My hair is thinning out on top and getting thicker everywhere else. I get a 5 o'clock shadow at about 8:30 am. I can hurt myself by just getting out of bed or walking up the stairs the wrong way, and it takes twice as long to recover from every injury. And I would look silly in the latest trendy outfits if I cared to ever try them on.

But worst of all (and I never thought it would happen this soon), I can't stand to listen to today's popular rock music. I just don't appreciate someone screaming into a microphone. What are they so angry about? And why are they wearing so much eye makeup? Is that what my music sounds like to people older than me?

Oh, well. I'm getting old. I knew that someday I would get to this point.

There are many people who have done amazing things and had great success in their lives before they turned 30. Alexander Graham Bell. Tiger Woods. Ryan Seacrest. But I never wanted any international attention or critical acclaim.

I really only hoped for one thing by my 30th birthday, and I can tell you that I got my wish.

I'm still around.

And isn't that enough?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with a man about a red sports car. Or is that supposed to be when I turn 40? Or 50? Somebody help me out here...