Tuesday, February 1, 2005

Penguins Are Driving Me Crazy

Not Mr. Lemieux's penguins. The actual flightless bird ones. I'll explain.

For some reason a company named Arhaus decided to send me a catalog featuring their overpriced furniture. I should have just thrown away this junk mail, along with the 3 credit card applications that shared my mailbox space with it. But I made the mistake of leafing through the pages instead. While looking at pieces of furniture that I will never own, I noticed a lot of penguins hanging around the stuff. Here is an example.

Penguins are interesting creatures, don't get me wrong. I can see how they could be used to advertise tuxedos or submarines or even a hockey team. But furniture? This is a frigid, wet, flightless bird. How cold do you have to set the thermostat at your house for penguins to drop by?

I needed to find out what was going on. In the front flap I found the rules of a contest - count how many penguins are in the catalog and you could win a leather chair. I counted 31. The entry form even gives you a hint and makes it multiple choice. 31 is not a choice.

I recounted. 31. I circled the penguins in red and numbered them so that I could keep track. 31 again.

I can't stand it. I need to know how many penguins are actually in the pages of this catalog. If you would like to look for yourself, download the .pdf from the Arhaus site here.

If you keep coming up with 31, too, then there is nothing I can do for you. If not, you can send in your entry online and maybe win the leather chair. We may never buy their furniture but that is OK - there is no purchase necessary to enter.


Anonymous said...

Is that one in the vase on page 8?

sinkerbeam said...

Negative - those are just some dead looking leaves...

Anonymous said...

Alas... 31... I will not however lay down my arms, and fall victim to some cheap carnival trick. Although these birds have centuries upon centuries of evolution to properly comouflage themself in natural environments such as the icy terrain of the Arctic, and the ruthless domain of an expensively priced furniture catalog,I promise you, that this penguinian camouflage will not outwit the superiority of the analytical human mind. Especially that of.......... Timothy J. Bradley.

Thad said...

I only got 30... Let's break it down by page and compare:


If you are getting 31, you know threre are at least 31, so go with 32. Chances are you missed 1 and not 3 or more, right?

Anonymous said...

I see the same 30 as Thad... where's your extra one?

sinkerbeam said...

Page 4 has 2 penguins - there are a pair of webbed feet under the couch at the very bottom on the right. So now you two have 31 as well...

marbles said...

This was by far the funniest thing I've read all day. Not sure what that says about me...
I too tried to count the evil penguins. I got 31, but I did see something that maybe maybe maybe is a penguin. Look on page four, the couch on the left side. It seems to me that there is something coming out of the cushin near the man, could it be a beak??? There is a shadow near it too. This is pushing it, I know, but I thought I'd see if anyone else noticed it too. :)

sinkerbeam said...

That is just where the couch cushions come together.

Anonymous said...

The 32nd penguin is on page 4. Almost directly below the guys head just to the left of 500 is clearly a penguin shadow on the couch.


Thad said...

Well, if penguin shadows count, then maybe we should search through again for penguin footprints or droppings or any other evidence that a penguin might be in the area.

jayman said...

How on Earth do all of you get the Arhaus catalog? We only Get Pottery Barn and Ethan Allen (and the Ethan Allen is a leftover from my favorite former owners).

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